


Seven Kittens right out of a hat - illustrated

by Linadoon



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T. S. Eliot
Genre: Fluff, Funny, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Short One Shot, Slice of Life, or at least i hope it is, really the tuggoffelees is mostly in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29775495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linadoon/pseuds/Linadoon
Summary: Houdini and Mick are gone, so Charlotte decides to help her brother, Michael, find the two cats.Tuggoffelees-Edit: 03/03/2021 - Now illustrated!
Relationships: Mr. Mistoffelees/Rum Tum Tugger (Cats)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Seven Kittens right out of a hat - illustrated

**Author's Note:**

> I was having ideas.  
> But I was also bored.  
> -  
> \- Humans see cats as four-legged furry little creatures. Cats are anthropomorphic to each other.  
> \- The cats are called Houdini, Mick Jagger and silver, you can guess who they are.  
> (You can check my other headcanons here https://archiveofourown.org/works/29478879/chapters/72413091)

“Charlie.”

“What?” The teen looked up from her magazine to her young brother.

“Have you seen Houdini?” Michael asked, leaning over the sofa.

“Not today, no…” Charlie shrugged, flipping a page, before thinking deeper about what her brother was talking. “Honestly, I haven’t seen him in a while… Not very uncommon.”

There was a reason why they had called him Houdini, after all. Sometimes that damn cat even made them wonder if magic was real or not.

“Yeah, well now Mick is gone too.” Michael whined, his eyes wide, and Charlotte could see he was getting nervous. “Do you think something happened to them?”

“Michael, calm down. If something had happened to Houdini, we would know. You know how Mick and Houdini are close!” The girl quickly said, not wanting to deal with an anxious meltdown. “The cats are probably just resting around the junkyard they like to go to…”

“But… But what if someone stole him?” Michael’s voice sounded weird and he held on tightly to the side of the sofa.

Charlotte should be expecting such thing.

“Oh, for fuck’s--” She groaned, putting the magazine aside. She sat on the sofa, staying on the same eye level as her brother. “Calm down, Michael. If it makes you feel better, we can go check the bloody junkyard to see if he is there.”

“But the junkyard is closed and uncle is not home…”

“Who cares?” Charlie shrugged. “Do you wanna go find Houdini or not?”

Michael nodded intently.

The two left the house and the young boy started calling for the cat. Charlie sighed, looking around, feeling a bit nervous herself.

A long time ago, back when they had first adopted Houdini, the cat had suddenly disappeared, only to be later found on someone else’s yard. It took a bit to convince the asshole who had practically kidnapped – or cat-napped, ha – Houdini that the cat belonged to them. Michael was still young and the fear of losing the cat he had already gotten so close to had left the poor boy quite shaken.

Charlotte herself hated remembering that day. She loved the little, calm and shy tuxedo cat. It would be sad to lose him, no matter how.

They continued down the road, going towards one of the junkyard’s closed gates on the end of an alleyway. They had no luck on the way there, the tux cat was nowhere to be found, or the Maine Coon…

“Ah! Micky!” Michael cried out, startling both Charlotte and a lady watering her plants not too far from where they were.

The boy ran down the alleyway as quick as he could.

Standing on top of the junkyard’s fence was Mick Jagger. The Maine Coon seemed surprised upon seeing his owners running towards him, stopping as he readied himself to jump down. But once the surprise wore off, he didn’t wait for the boy to reach him, letting out a loud meow and jumping towards the junkyard.

“Mick! Wait!” Michael reached the fence, his head only a few centimetres taller than it, making him unable to look beyond. He still tried anyway, standing on the tip of his toes. “Let’s follow him!”

“Yeah, sure, let me do this.” Charlotte pushed her brother aside, easily jumping over the old fence thanks to her height. She landed on old, rusty metal boxes, using the elevated position to help her brother do the same. “Careful. If you get hurt, I’m the one who’s gonna get a talk from mum…”

Michael ignored his sister, following after Mick, as the cat strolled down the junkyard’s clearing.

The junkyard was quite large, filled with old, rusty cars and broken-down trucks, as well as mountains and mountains of junk and garbage. The place was pretty much abandoned and people used it as the community’s garbage dump, even though it was illegal to do so. Charlotte scrunched her nose. The place was probably ridden with rats and cockroaches, it was no wonder that cats liked the place.

The Maine Coon must have noticed he was being followed, turning around and flicking his tail back and forth with a meow.

“Do you think that means ‘follow me’ or ‘fuck off’?” Charlie muttered.

Michael didn’t answer, simply continued following the cat as it walked away. They walked by the piles of junk, through a long open path that took to a small almost circular clearing that ended on a broken part of the fence. The kids could hear the sound of scurrying paws and occasionally saw a cat walking around, looking at them with curious or scared eyes.

Mick continued on his path with confidence, before stopping not too far from an old, leaning cupboard. He meowed once more, before going over to the lower drawer, which happened to have a hole on the side.

“I think that’s his little summer cottage.” Charlotte joked.

Michael came closer, but stopped moving once the Maine Coon turned and hissed to him. As soon as the boy stepped back and the cat stopped hissing, there was another sound, a soft meow coming from inside the drawer.

Michael’s face lighted up almost immediately.

“It’s Houdini!” He cried out.

“Sounds like him, I guess…” Charlotte said, not as sure as her brother. He always said he could distinguish the different meows from Mick and Houdini, but she rarely heard a difference.

Mick turned his back to the two teens, sticking his head through the hole on the cupboard.

“Maybe he is telling Houdini to stop hiding.” Michael guessed.

Another meow, coming from a different direction, got Charlotte’s attention. She turned to the clearing, seeing a gray tabby coon coming towards her. She would’ve recognized him anywhere, even if he was without the black, studded collar.

“Hey, Silver.” She walked over to the cat, reaching for him. Silver sniffed her fingers for a moment before leaning into her touch. “Are you taking care of the junkyard while uncle is out?” The gray tabby meowed back at her.

Despite accepting Charlotte’s touch, she noticed how the cat seemed a bit tense, by the way his tail was swishing back and forth; and once she pulled her hand away, she noticed Silver’s blue eyes looking beyond her, to where Michael was, crouched by the cupboard.

She heard a loud gasp

“Charlotte!”

“What? Ah--!” She turned around at the sound of her name and stood still, frozen in place.

Mick was standing on the hole of his little home, holding a little, whiny black thing in his mouth. It took Charlotte a moment to realize he was holding a kitten.

“A kitten…?”

“It’s a little tuxedo cat!” Michael said, reaching carefully for the kitten. Mick pulled back as if startled, the movement making the kitten whine once more, before the Maine Coon was scurrying back inside the cupboard.

A little tuxedo kitten.

Houdini was a tuxedo cat.

But it couldn’t be, right…?

“Michael--” Charlotte tried to stop her brother as he leaned down to try and look through the hole, but if she was afraid of him getting scratched by getting to close, there was no need.

Michael got up, looking at his sister with wide eyes.

“You need to see this!” He said with barely concealed giddiness.

“Don’t tell me there’s more…” The teen muttered, kneeling where her brother had been and bending down to look through the hole.

The drawer seemed to be quite a spacious little home, with blankets and trinkets scattered around as if the cats that lived there were too lazy to finish decorating. And in the middle of the drawer were Mick and Houdini, the large Maine Coon licking between the tux’s ears, while Houdini was fussing over, not only one, but quite a few kittens. Some of them were dark, though she could see some lighter colors, and some were clearly golden, like Mick Jagger.

“They got kittens!!”

“Ack! Michael!” Charlotte got up, covering her ear that was still ringing thanks to her brother screaming right next to it. “You’re gonna scare them like that…”

“Did you see it?!” Michael asked with the type of excitement normally reserved to his favorite magicians on TV, like David Copperfield. “I think they have, like… Five kittens!”

“I think I counted six really…” She said, shaking her head. “Whoa, but it’s not like… They _had_ the kittens! They’re both males!”

Michael stopped for a second, as if he had just thought of that.

“I mean… Houdini _is_ a male, isn’t he?” Charlotte muttered, starting to question herself at this point.

“Well, when we took him to the vet, the doctor said he is male…” Michael muttered. “And I think he has a… You know…”

“I know anatomy, Michael.” The teen groaned.

“Maybe they found the kittens!” Michael offered.

Charlotte thought for a moment, hearing the soft but high-pitched mewling of the kittens.

“They’re definitely new born though…” She pointed out. “Their eyes are not even open yet. At least the one Mick showed…” She stopped for a second. “Maybe their mother died and they ‘adopted’ them…?”

The two were silent for a moment, ruminating those thoughts, before Michael shoved his sister aside, taking a look through the hole one more time. Charlotte was still processing that whole information.

Mick was a male and Houdini was a male, they were pretty sure of it, but now she couldn’t help but start connecting dots that she didn’t even thought were related.

She remembered how Houdini started gaining weight the past month, even though they were giving him his usual quantity of food, and also how he continued growing even when they started giving him less food. Houdini’s behavior had changed as well, he had become more affectionate, at least much more than normal – and even Mick Jagger was acting differently around the tux. She was pretty sure that, if there was one cat that could be the… “father” of that litter, it had to be the Maine Coon.

But both were males and there was no way they could have kittens together!

Was that something that could happen with cats? No, no way.

Or maybe Houdini was a hermaphrodite? Charlotte remembered learning something about that in school, but things didn’t work that way, did they?

Her head was starting to hurt with all the questions.

“Or…” Michael spoke up again, raising his head from the ground. “Maybe he really is magical! And he magically created these kittens!” He stopped for a second. “Like making rabbits appear out of a hat! But with kittens!”

Charlotte stared at her brother as if she couldn’t understand a word he said, even though she could and really wished she couldn’t.

“They’re _cats_ , Michael…” She groaned at her brother’s excited expression.

**\--**

A chuckle escaped Mistoffelees as he heard the human kits still arguing outside.

“See, I told you that would be the first thing in their head.” He said with a purr, laying the little queen beside him, together with her siblings.

“Well, that was the first thing in _my_ mind when you gave me the news.” Tugger chuckled, nuzzling his mate, who’s purring intensified at the contact. “But Michael is not wrong is it?” He reached a paw, running it over one of the little tom’s head, not once disturbing his lunch. “Magic was involved…”

“Yes, but I didn’t pull them out of a hat…” Mistoffelees rolled his eyes.

“Seven kittens...” Tugger purred, winking at his mate, enjoying the way the white fur on Mistoffelees’ face turned slightly pink. “Right out of a hat…”

And he barely had time to dodge the paw coming towards his head.

* * *

(The kittens, in order of birth from left to right)

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my tumblr for more art @linadoondraws


End file.
